


The Kazekage's Blind Date

by HimekoUchia



Category: Naruto
Genre: Children, F/M, Family, Gen, Humor, OC, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 09:31:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/583858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HimekoUchia/pseuds/HimekoUchia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kazekage is getting more bitter by the second and Gaara is starting to get irritated. However, with Shukaku's help, the redhead decides to set him up on a date. A blind date.<br/>Not completely childish themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kazekage's Blind Date

**"Shukaku's voice"**

Every since Gaara was a little boy, betrayed by his uncle and unloved by his family, he was an evil and sour person. He was the biggest grouch of the entire Village Hidden in the Sand.  
Well, actually, second biggest.  
We all know who is even more sour and grouchy that Gaara.  
His father, the Kazekage.

Some people might blame it on his stressful job or the fact that his child is a demon. Or some people might just think 'Like father, like son'.  
Gaara didn't think that. He just thought that the man was acting even more dark lately. Of course, he didn't care at all about the Kazekage's feelings. But that old fart's attitude was starting to irritate him.  
And he didn't like it. He wanted to find a way to make the adult less annoying, even if it meant doing something that might possibly making him happy.  
Gaara and Shukaku nearly shared a collective mental puke. They both didn't do kindness. But this situation was starting to get desperate. And desperate times call for desperate measures.

But what could Gaara do? Killing the Kazegake was the most attractive idea, but somehow, something inside the redhead's mind told him that he would never be able to do that for some unfathomable reason. He was definitively not asking Kankuro or Temari for help (His sand skills: 100%. His communication skills: -500%).  
The young boy spent nights trying to figure out a way to shut his biological father back into his cage of sourness, and to stop him from coming out to annoy him.

After many hours, Shukaku gasped and chuckled evilly.

**"I've got an idea! Now, listen here boy... This is what you have to do..."**

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I can't believe I'm doing this!

**"Well, believe it boy! May I point out that my idea was to knock them out and tie them to a chair, but noooo... You wanted to do it the nice way!"**

Gaara growled at the demon, knowing silently that he was right. He did want to do this in a non violent way, which was a first for him. He surprised himself sometimes.

**"See? Well, since you are here now, you might as well go for it. And you don't look half bad... Very... Cute, actually."**

Shukaku sniggered when Gaara mentally cursed at him.  
But the sand monster had yet another point, for Gaara, in his disguise, did look very 'cute'. Adorable, actually.  
He knew that coming here as himself would cause chaos and make people run around flailing their arms, screaming at the 'demon child' to get lost.  
So, using a basic transformation jutsu, he turned himself into a rather attractive and innocent looking red haired teenage... girl.  
He was almost embarrassed of his choice, but when thinking up a disguise as he performed that jutsu, the only image that popped into his mind was one of a younger Temari with a long ginger braid, rounder face and less athletic clothes.

**"You disturb me kid."**

Gaara ignored Shukaku. Sure, he looked like a girl out of a magazine that Kankuro had, but the young jinchuuriki blamed his own lack of imagination. Actually, no. His father's lack of imagination, that was then inherited by him.  
Yes, it was the old man's fault that he was so dark. And he was going to change that.  
Which brought him back to the present.

Gaara straightened his back and tried to make the expression on his face not one of evilness. He wasn't sure if he succeeded, but heck with that.  
The young redheaded... girl walked up to the desk behind which sat his target.  
"Um... Miko-sensei... I have a letter for you. The sender wishes to remain anonymous..." The honorific seemed out of place coming out of Gaara's normally rude mouth, but this was the only way he could make his plan work.  
When the woman turned and spotted him/her, she smiled warmly.

"Oh! Hello there sweetheart! Wait just one moment and I'll be with you..."  
The lady was quite tall and had shoulder length chestnut hair with golden highlights. Her eyes were large and dark brown and her eyelashes long and curled. Her smile was soft and welcoming.  
In other words, she was one pretty lady and, after a few days of researched, Gaara found out that she was a single mom of two kids, he husband having died trying to assassinate him.  
The first reason that Gaara chose this woman was that she was one of his old senseis during his (very short) days at the academy before graduating. She was one of the very few people that the boy actually didn't hate being around. She was so... kind. Of course, Gaara still didn't trust her for that. How could he trust someone, after what had happened with Yashamaru?

But this was different. He knew that she honestly didn't mind teaching him.

Even if he had killed her husband out of self defense (and blood lust), the lady had never treated him differently from her other students. She wasn't angry at him, or at the Kazekage for widowing her. She just laughed and said:

"Well, we live in one small, crazy world now, do we? At least my husband in now in a better place! Now, Gaara-kun, sweetheart, don't slouch... A growing boy like you need to keep his head held high."  
OK, Gaara maybe had trouble admitting this even to himself, but he used to kind of like her. Like like. Kind of a childish crush, just a little. Not anymore though, but that was something even Shukaku didn't know about.  
She knew when to let him be, but at the same time, she knew what to say to get him to do the right thing and to make him feel even better about his already very self-centered self.

And that was the most important reason he chose her. Her way of speaking.  
The woman was currently talking into a radio communicator.  
"WHAT THE HECK? I didn't say that! No! I didn't! I told you to schedule the conference for next week!... Well, no! I'm busy that night! Well, too bad! I don't care, just change the date! Thank you!" her voice instantly became soft and sweet again. "You are an angel! I appreciate you cooperation! See you next Monday, sweety!"

She switched the radio off and turned back to her visitor.  
"I'm sorry about that! Now, where were..." she trailed off when she realized that the teenage girl had left her office while she was yelling.  
Confused, she shrugged and sat back down in her chair.  
That was when she noticed the envelope and the single red rose on her desk.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Kazekage was suspicious, but none-the-less curious when he found the envelope and single red rose in his mail box.  
Checking over his shoulder for a nosy person, her ripped open the letter, not noticing the little sand eyeball above his head.

_To my love,_

_There's not a thing that I would change._  
 _Because you are amazing... Just the way you are._  
 _I would catch an exploding tag... for you!_  
 _Throw my hand on a kunai blade... for you!_  
 _I would throw myself in front of a sand storm... for you!_  
 _Because you are amazing... Just the way you are._

_I am sure that you are wondering what all this is about._  
 _I am in love with you, but am too shy to reveal my identity. So, if you wish, I will be waiting for you at eight o'clock at the 'Desert Mist'._  
 _I hope to see you there,_

_Love,  
Your Secret Admirer._

_PS: I am in not in any way associated with a demon._

Gaara's levitating chakra fused sphere of sand twitched when he saw what Shukaku had written in those letters for him (using sand and ink). It was too much. But he had no idea how to write love letters, but somehow the demon was a hidden overly romantic pile of desert mush, which the redhead hadn't known about until this day. 

**"Hey, what can I say? Apart from pure destruction, I am pretty good at writing letters. I like this one. I think that it's... catchy..."**

Gaara held his breath, waiting for the Kazekage's reaction to his declaration of love.  
The boy nearly sniggered at that though.

The adult stared at the letter in shock.  
"Urg... Stupid kids and their pranks." he mumbled, walking to the trash bin.  
But then he stopped and looked at the rose. Many thoughts seemed to cloud his mind at once and after a minute, he sighed.  
"What's the harm in checking it out? I'm free tonight anyway... I haven't even been on a date since Gaara was conceived. About time, my man."

Wow, Gaara had no idea that his biological father spoke to himself in private. Maybe they weren't so different after all. The boy shoved that thought out of his mind. No. He was nothing like this man.  
"Yeah... I absolutely need to go on a date. Who is this person anyway? I guess that I will find out. They are rather creative when it comes to letter writing. Hm... Yeah. Eight o'clock... I have time to get ready. Now, where did I put that suit..."

Shukaku was laughing it's demonic butt off.

**"Oh, so he likes my writing huh? Told you boy..."**

Gaara sighed and removed his sand eyeball from the Kazekage's head's orbit.  
Now, all he had to do was go to that restaurant and 'persuade' the manager to do him a little favor.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The man shook like a leaf but tried to hide it as Gaara stood calmly before him.  
"S-So you want me to... Reserve a table for two for eight o'clock? A romantic meal? Blindfolds? OK, a-anything for you G-Gaara-sama."  
The redhead nodded and walked away, not bothering to thank the man. He didn't do that.

Said man sighed in relief when he saw the boy leave, then nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the time. Only half an hour.  
He turned back to his staff.  
"Now, my workers of the 'Desert Mist'! We have a special request from a young man who could easily kill us! So let's get a move on!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miko was in a daze. A date! With her secret admirer! She hadn't been on a date for years! And that was a beautiful rose.  
She really wanted to know who it was from, but the girl had disappeared so quick! Oh well... She would find out soon enough.

Once she arrived in front of the 'Desert Mist', one of the chic restaurants in Suna, she was glad to realize that she was right on time!  
"Hello! I think that the reservation was already made." she smiled at the person standing outside the door. "I do not know who my man is. Does that give you a hint? I don't know what to do right now."  
The manager blinked and grinned.  
"Ah, yes. Your date has already arrived. But before you enter, I ask you to put this on."

He handed her a blindfold. She stared at his hand as if it were a strange shade of purplish green.  
"What? Why?"  
"Requested by your... uh... date. It's a blind date! Hahah! Blind, get it?" the man laughed awkwardly.  
Miko played along and chuckled softly, putting on the blindfold, wanting nothing more than to punch this guy in the face, but withholding herself knowing that it was bad manners.

She was guided to her seat and sat on a big, cushioned chair, completely unable to see.  
Gaara, hiding outside the restaurant with a perfect view of the scene through a small window, nodded to the manager who bowed and left the two confused adults alone. Then, the redhead watched intently. He had never been on a date ever, and didn't really get the concept. But this had been Shukaku's idea and, according to the demon, things were starting off pretty smoothly.  
So he tried to observe.

At the table, there was a short silence, because the Kazekage and Miko were both blindfolded. This was Gaara's idea because his father was rather famous in the village, so he didn't want his past sensei to freak out. The two adults knew each other, so that was another reason precautions had to be taken when making this plan work out, since dates were all about discovering the other and their common interests (according to Shukaku), so recognizing each other would be awkward.

So you all probably guessed the plan.  
Gaara was setting his father and former sensei up on a romantic, secret date. He wasn't sure how he managed and this was rather embarrassing for him, but, heck, if it made his father less irritating, he was willing to sit through this torture.

The Kazekage, not knowing what to do, was the first to speak.  
"Ahem. Well, judging by the silence, I guess you can't see either. I think we should skip the names because I have a feeling that you didn't send me that letter after all."  
The woman nodded. They weren't the brightest for falling into this trap, but they weren't that stupid either.  
"Probably a set up. It was a very tasteful letter though. The person must really want us to get to know each other, if they went through all this trouble. I guess we could eat dinner for their sake."  
"Yes. Dinner sounds nice. Should we order?"

"No need to order!" The two blindfolded people jumped a meter up in their seats. They hadn't heard the waiter approach, even with their ninja training. The place was very noisy. "The dishes were pre-chosen to suit both of your likings. Enjoy your meal!"  
On the table was placed two plates of rice and medium rare steak surrounded by heart shaped candy and two glasses of imported wine. This restaurant was incredibly well supplied.  
The waiter left them in peace, glancing once again at Gaara to make sure things were going as he wanted.

"Oh. This smell... It smells delicious! Whoever set us up is now on top of my list of favorite people!" laughed Miko, feeling the table for a knife and fork. Instead, she accidentally grabbed the Kazekage's hand.  
A blush formed on her cheeks.  
"Oh... Sorry." she chuckled, finding her silverware.  
Before this woman had arrived, the Kazekage had an urge to ditch. But now that his mystery date was here, as well as his favorite dinner, he felt excited. The thrill of being with another person, for another purpose that a political meeting. He hadn't felt that for a very long time.  
Hey, he was a man. He liked being with women like every other man, but had been very occupied for the last... thirteen years or so, making sure that his youngest son/weapon didn't annihilate the entire Suna population.

The single dad smiled and picked up his fork easily, and started eating.  
Wait, how did dates go again? Oh, right. He was supposed to talk.  
"So... How did you end up here?" he tried, since this was the only thing he knew he could talk about with this woman.  
"Hm... A little girl... 'Bout thirteen, never seen her before, brought me the rose and letter saying that the sender wanted to remain 'anonymous'. She was very cute, had a long red braid. Do you know her?" said Miko, not trusting her clumsy self to use her knife with a blindfold, so opted to planting her fork in her steak and taking a bite out of it. She was glad that her date couldn't see her do something so un-ladylike.  
"No. I do not know any little girl with red hair. I just found my letter in the mailbox. I have to admit, I was shocked!" replied the Kazekage, eating his food like a pure pro. He was the top ninja in the village after all.

"So was I! The girl popped in, but I needed to tend to some matters... then when I looked back, she was gone. Creepy next generation, I'm telling you! But whoever she was, I'm glad that she got me to move my butt after many dateless years! Oh... Heh... I didn't..." Miko bit her lip in embarrassment. How could she have said that? Now the guy would think that she was a loser! "Not that long. Like, four... five... six years maybe... Ha ha, I'm lame, huh?"  
The Kazekage laughed.  
"No not at all! I haven't been on a date in nearly thirteen years!"  
"Wow. That is pretty long, man. It's about time for both of us, I think." She tried to eat a spoonful of rice, but ended up flinging most of it all over the table.  
"Can't say that I don't agree."

Gaara had a pretty sharp sense of hearing, so he picked up most of the conversation even if a thick glass window was between him and the man that was the reason his life was messed up. The only reason he agreed to setting the Kage up on a blind date with a perfect match was, well... Gaara frowned. Why did he do it already? Because the man's bitterness was irritating him. But he had always been bitter. Was Gaara doing him a... favor?  
The jinchuuriki nearly threw up all over himself.

**"Hey! Calm down kid! At times like this, I would normally love to torture you, but I spent so much time writing those letters, so you might as well sit through their puke love fest. Who knows, the old fart might actually start being less annoying and, honestly, I hate vomit, so keep it in your stomach."**

Gaara was glad that Shukaku was siding with him and encouraged him to do something that wasn't bloody, even if this was totally unlike both of them. The redhead didn't want to go through this completely alone. He turned his attention back to the blind couple.

"Yeah... I have two kiddos. Two girls. My husband passed. How about you?" asked Miko, feeling the table for her glass of wine, begging that she wouldn't knock it over. She eventually managed to pick it up without spilling too much of it.  
"I have three children. Two boys and a girl. My wife died too." replied the Kazekage, who was sorting through the list of people he knew with two daughters in his mind.  
"Wow. Looks like we have more in common than we think, mystery man." The woman chuckled and ran a hand through her hair and the Kazekage lifted an eyebrow in amusement.  
"Yes... We do. I wonder how much more I can learn about you tonight. Judging but what you have told me, and just by the sound of your voice, you must me a truly magnificent person."

Gaara and Shukaku's jaws dropped to the floor.  
This was a side of the man they had never seen before.  
He was a professional when it came to words! No wonder he ended up Kazekage. He was acting romantic, attractive, comfortable and kind.  
Gaara snapped his mouth shut and swallowed his shock and slight feeling of... loneliness.  
His father was good at this. That guy probably could have gotten any woman in the world with a blink of a eye if he weren't so sour and obsessed with trying to assassinate him for the past thirteen years.  
But he, Gaara of the Desert, was still alone and he felt that he might always be. He had no talent in seducing. Alone. He would end up alone.  
The boy shook his head.  
Not that he cared.

The dinner lasted for a few hours and Gaara guessed that it went... well. They had smiled and talked happily about so many things: Suna, being a parent, the mysterious letter and rose, themselves, their favorite foods, books they had both loved, food, the weather, more food...  
Gaara was still slightly surprised that this man was the same man that made him miserable. He had never known the Kazekage as a two face. Then again, he didn't really know the man after all. He only knew what food he liked, since he overheard their chef listing out his father's favorite dishes one day.

After two more minutes, Miko knocked a small vase off the table, that the Kazekage caught at the last minute, just like he had for the fork, napkin, spoon, half full glass of wine, empty glass of wine, knife, plate and handbag. He was a ninja pro, and ninja pros didn't need to see, remember?  
"Oh darn... I'm sorry. I am not good at this. Thanks." she chuckled nervously.  
"It's fine. Maybe we should... take these blindfolds off now. We've finished eating anyway, right?"  
"Yeah. 'Bout time."

Gaara held is breath in anticipation. Then let it deflate out of him like a balloon. Why was he nervous? He was never nervous! He didn't care about his father! He didn't care about this! This wasn't exciting! He didn't want his father to fall in love and live happily ever after!

**"Yeah, yeah, shut up! Their going to see each other any second now!"**

This made the jinchuuriki snap his attention back to the couple.

Miko and his father both slowly took off their blindfolds and looked at each other in silence and recognition.  
Then they both burst out laughing.  
Gaara tilted his head to the side, mouth hanging slightly open, wondering how the hell the world worked.

"Miko-san! I can't say that I'm not surprised!" The man rubbed the back of his neck, smiling at the woman.  
"Wow! Kazekage-sama! I honestly had no idea... I should have recognized your voice!"  
"I should have recognized yours! Oh, by the way, it's 'Kazekage-kun' for you." He winked at Miko and they both had another round of laughter.  
The man calmed down, surprised of himself. He had acted like a worry free teenager. It felt... great. He felt like a child. He cocked his head to the side, looking up at the top right corner of the restaurant wall.  
And talking about children...  
"... Why the heck is Gaara up behind that window?"

"Shoot!" hissed the redhead, letting himself drop to the ground. He wondered if he should make a run for it, but instead pressed his ear to the wall, trying to use his jinchuuriki senses to distinguish the Kazekage's voice from the general hubbub of the restaurant. He could always teleport if they came out.  
Oh, there was Miko-sensei's voice.

"What? Why would Gaara-kun be outside the window?"  
"Spying? That doesn't make any sense... Does it?" came his father's voice.  
"Nope. Not at all. That would be the craziest darn thing ever." replied Miko.  
"Oh. I must have imagined it them... Hm... Well, I guess we should be leaving. May I walk you home, Miko-san?"  
"Certainly. I had a great night, even if I couldn't see anythin'. You are quite a surprising man, Kazekage-ku-..."

Gaara huffed and detached his ear from the wall. It was a great time to take his leave. This was getting a little too lovey-dovey for him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The redhead sat on the roof of the Kazekage tower, looking at the moon shining bright above him. It was truly a sight to see. Gaara liked the moon. The moon didn't judge him. The moon shone for him just like it shone for everyone.

**"Emo poet."**

The jinchuuriki sighed, looking away from the sky.  
He felt kind of glad that the date went well.  
It started out as a way to get his father to be less irritating but, now... He learned so much.  
So darn much... He might actually know how to get a date now!  
He shook his head free of those ridiculous thoughts. He was a demon.

Suddenly, he heard a knock and turned around.  
The door swung open and his father stood their.  
They both stared at each other in silence. The Kazekage was the first to break it.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, taking a step forward.  
Gaara did a quick chakra check of the area and realized that this wasn't another trick to murder him. The man was alone.  
"Do what?" was the only thing that came out of the boy's mouth.  
The Kazekage chuckled softly.  
"Everything. The letters, the date, the dinner... When I saw you in the restaurant, I initially thought that it was a trap. But if it were, I guess that I would be dead already."

Gaara continued to look at his father, realizing that this was the first time that they had ever talked outside of their training sessions years ago.  
"Because. You were so dark it became annoying." he replied honestly.

The Kazekage nodded, then awkwardly walked backwards until he was out of the door again.  
"Well... That was all I wanted to ask... Thanks I guess. G'night."  
Then he was gone.

Gaara turned back to the moon, surprised even more. That wasn't too bad.

**"Yo, kid. May I remind you that he hates you and keeps trying to kill you? Now you are just getting too nice. Once was bad enough. You are turning to putty. You will become soft. Now, listen to what I'm telling you. Kill me a few innocent and everything will be alright, OK?"**

The redhead snorted and lied onto his back.  
"Shut up Shukaku."

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Naruto or Bruno Mars.  
> Muahahaha totally random. Hope you liked it!  
> HimekoUchia


End file.
